A woman refused to take her husband’s younger sister in after her father’s death because the couple had decided not to have children together. The husband felt conflicted, as he wanted to care for his sister, but his wife disagreed.
The husband, referred to as the original poster (OP), shared on Reddit that after his father passed away, leaving his sister with no one to care for her, he planned to do anything for her. However, his wife did not share the same sentiment.
The couple had been married for two years, and the OP’s sister, who was much younger, saw him as more of a father figure than an older brother. The little sister was eleven when their father passed away.
The dilemma arose because the OP and his wife had not welcomed any children and had no plans to in the future. Despite the tragic loss, the couple did not want children, which became a source of tension.
The OP’s sister had two options for guardianship – the OP or their uncle (their father’s brother). They asked the sister to choose, and she opted to stay with the OP.
However, the wife objected, stating that taking in the sister would mean having a child, and since the uncle could adopt her, they shouldn’t have to.
The OP, prioritizing his sister’s well-being, insisted on taking her in, leading to conflict with his wife. After a heated exchange, the OP told his wife that he would let his sister stay with them, even if it meant divorce. They did not talk for a while.
In an update, the OP mentioned that he and his wife decided to go their separate ways after discussing the situation again.
The wife claimed he chose his sister over her, and the OP affirmed that his sister was his priority. Many people supported the OP’s decision, commending him for prioritizing his sister’s needs.
Some criticized the wife for not being more compassionate, while others empathized with her perspective, acknowledging the challenges of caring for a child dealing with trauma.
The OP and his wife ultimately parted ways, with the OP embracing the role of a single father-figure for his sister.
MY HUSBAND SPENT OUR FAMILY’S SAVINGS FOR A CAR ON A PARIS TRIP FOR HIS MOM — SO I TAUGHT HIM A LESSON ABOUT FINANCES.
The weight of the betrayal settled in my stomach like a cold stone. Three years. Three years of sacrifice, of pinching pennies and foregoing simple pleasures, all for a car that would keep our family safe. And he’d squandered it. On a whim. On a trip to Paris for his mother.
David, bless his oblivious heart, seemed genuinely surprised by my reaction. He’d always been a mama’s boy, and I’d tolerated it, even indulged it, to a point. But this? This was beyond the pale.
“It’s my money too!” he’d protested, his voice rising in that familiar defensive tone. “She deserves it! You can’t put a price on gratitude.”
I’d simply stared at him, my mind reeling. Gratitude? What about gratitude for the sacrifices I’d made, for the countless hours I’d spent juggling work, kids, and household chores? What about gratitude for the safety of our children?
I knew arguing would be futile. He was locked in his own world of justifications, and I wasn’t about to waste my breath. Instead, I retreated, a quiet fury simmering beneath my composed exterior.
Over the next few days, I played the part of the understanding wife. I smiled, nodded, and even helped him pack his mother’s suitcase. I listened patiently as he recounted his mother’s excited phone calls, her plans for sightseeing and shopping.
But beneath the surface, I was plotting. I was determined to teach him a lesson about finances, about responsibility, about the true meaning of family.
First, I contacted his mother. I explained the situation, the crumbling van, the precarious state of our family finances. She was mortified. She’d always been a sensible woman, and she was appalled by her son’s impulsive decision. She offered to pay for the trip herself, but I declined. Instead, I suggested a compromise. She could still go to Paris, but for a shorter period, a weekend getaway rather than a full week. The difference in cost would be returned to our car fund.
Next, I tackled the issue of David’s “my money too” argument. I opened a joint account, separate from our everyday expenses, and deposited the remaining car fund, along with the money his mother had returned. I then created a detailed budget, outlining our household expenses, including the cost of a new (used) car. I presented it to David, highlighting the glaring discrepancy between our needs and his impulsive spending.
I also introduced him to the concept of “family meetings.” Every Sunday, we would sit down together, discuss our finances, and make joint decisions about spending. The kids were included, too, learning about the value of money and the importance of saving.
Finally, I decided to address the issue of his mother’s constant demands. I didn’t want to create a rift between them, but I needed to establish boundaries. I suggested that we set aside a small portion of our budget for gifts and experiences for both our families, to be agreed upon by both of us.
The changes weren’t immediate. David grumbled about the budget, about the “unnecessary” family meetings. But slowly, he began to understand. He started to appreciate the sacrifices I’d made, the careful planning that kept our family afloat. He even started to enjoy the family meetings, seeing them as an opportunity to connect with the kids and make joint decisions.
The day we drove our newly purchased (used) car home, David looked at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of regret and gratitude. “Thank you,” he said, his voice sincere. “For teaching me.”
I smiled. “We’re a team, David,” I said. “And teams work together.”
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