Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
He is a legendary musician, and we have all sung his songs, but he is currently ill and in suffering.
The renowned Genesis lead singer and drummer Phil Collins has enjoyed enormous success in the music business over his illustrious career.
Joining Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney as the only performers with over 100 million records sold through both solo and collaborative projects, he is one of three. Collins was exposed to music at a young age. He was born on January 30, 1951, in London, England, to parents who were artists.
The move that would define his sound came when he was five years old and received a homemade drum kit from his uncle. It included tambourines, triangles, cymbals, and miniature drums.
Key bands like The Shadows led the way as the English beat genre started to take shape. In addition to leading this movement, Collins would frequently perform at get-togethers thrown by his parents’ sailing club.
Collins was first exposed to rock and roll at the age of fourteen, when The Beatles motivated him to buy a record player and Please Please Me. He would put his drums in front of a mirror and turn up the record player’s volume so he wouldn’t have to look at what he was doing.
To learn how to read drum music, which was necessary if one wished to work in an orchestra pit or dance band, he decided to take drum lessons from a teacher. But Collins soon discovered that reading sheet music was not nearly as good as playing spontaneously.
In the 1970s, Collin’s life took an unexpected turn after he came upon an advertisement for Genesis’ drummer. Collins got in touch with them, and they were happy to have him on board, which launched his incredible musical career.
Many of the songs from The Beatles’ five albums went on to become timeless classics that we still love to this day. Due to a dearth of worthy contenders, Collins assumed the role of lead vocalist for the band quite quickly.
He took a while to get used to being a drummer as well as a voice, but he persisted and became one of the greatest musicians of our time.
As a solo artist and a member of the legendary band Genesis, Collins enjoyed enormous success in the music industry. Hits like “I Don’t Care Anymore,” “In The Air Tonight,” and “You Can’t Hurry Love” propelled him to the top of the music business.
After 25 years with Genesis, Collins made the decision to change directions in his career, concentrating on jazz ventures, movie soundtracks, and his solo endeavors. He said he hoped his old comrades would have a successful career, but when 2017 came around, he decided to go back on the road with them for their Last Domino tour.
Sadly, the pandemic forced a postponement of this tour, and shortly before it started, Phil spoke with BBC Breakfast, raising some concerns regarding his health. With Phil on vocals and Nicholas Collins on drums, the band plans to play live again despite this setback.
Nic is a fantastic drummer, but according to Tony Banks, he could add even more intensity to the already strong early Phil Collins tunes.
Speaking on his retirement from drumming, Phil remarked, “I’d like to, but I can scarcely grip a stick with this hand.” Despite the challenges that come with being physically limited, Phil has not allowed them to deter him from pursuing his love of music.
The storyteller, a man our age, spoke with a palpable sense of loss as he outlined his physical struggles. He bemoaned not being able to travel with his kid and hear about his travels.
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to carry on traveling because of his health. His remarks gave off a dejected vibe, as though he had accepted that he could no longer engage in some activities and that they were off-limits to him.
He felt pressured and faced with a difficult decision: stick on his current course or stop his travels. It dawned on him that either way, a physical constraint or a deliberate choice would force him to give up something he valued. He was troubled by this and felt as though he might miss out on a lot of opportunities in life as a result of this sudden change in his circumstances.
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