I was shocked when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of losing my temper, I decided to play along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his new idea of marriage.
I’ve always been the calm and reasonable one in our relationship. Jake, on the other hand, can easily get caught up in new trends or ideas, whether it’s a hobby or a YouTube video that claims to change his life in just a few easy steps.
Jake and I were fine until he met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loud made him right. He’d talk over anyone who tried to correct him. He was also always single (no surprise there), but that didn’t stop him from giving relationship advice to all his married friends, including Jake. Jake, who should’ve known better, was impressed by Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t worry about it much at first, but then Jake started saying things like, “Steve says marriages work best when the wife handles the household,” or “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.” I’d roll my eyes and make sarcastic comments, but it was bothering me. Jake was changing. He’d raise an eyebrow if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and he’d sigh if I let the laundry pile up—forgetting that I also had a full-time job.
Then one night, it happened. Jake came home with The List.
He sat me down, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across the table. “I’ve been thinking,” he began, sounding condescending in a way I’d never heard before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, not realizing he was walking into dangerous territory. “Yeah, Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I looked at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule, titled “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” Jake had actually written out a plan for me based on what Steve—a single guy with no relationship experience—thought I should do to “improve” as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast, then go to the gym to “stay in shape.” After that? Cleaning, laundry, ironing—all before heading to work. Every evening, I was to cook dinner from scratch and make snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over. It was sexist and insulting on so many levels, I didn’t know where to start. I just stared at Jake, wondering if he had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, unaware.
“Steve says it’s important to have structure, and I think you could benefit from—”
“Benefit from what?” I interrupted, keeping my voice calm. Jake blinked, surprised, but quickly recovered.
“Well, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw the paper in his face, but instead, I surprised myself—I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m lucky you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
He looked relieved, and I almost felt sorry for him as I stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I looked at the ridiculous schedule and smiled. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” he was about to learn a lesson. I opened my laptop and started a new document titled, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” If he wanted perfection from me, there was a cost.
I started by listing all the things he’d suggested for me, beginning with the gym. “$1,200 for a personal trainer,” I typed, barely holding back a laugh.
Next was the food. If Jake wanted gourmet meals, that wasn’t happening with our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That wasn’t cheap. “$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. And if he wanted fancy meals, he’d need cooking lessons too—those were expensive.
I leaned back, laughing as I imagined his face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. The best part was yet to come.
There was no way I could manage all these demands and keep my job. If Jake wanted me to follow his absurd schedule full-time, he’d have to cover my lost income. I calculated my salary and added it to the list. “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”
By now, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.
And just for fun, I added a note about expanding the house. If Jake was going to have friends over all the time, they’d need a separate space. “$50,000 to build a man cave so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s new routine.”
I printed out the list, set it on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he arrived, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called, spotting the paper. “What’s this?”
Keeping a straight face, I said, “Oh, just a little list to help you become the best husband ever.”
He chuckled, thinking I was playing along, but as he read the list, his smile faded. “$1,200 for a trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I crossed my arms. “Well, you want me to follow your plan, right? I figured we should budget for it.”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?”
“How else can I follow your plan?” I asked. “I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
Jake looked stunned. The numbers and the absurdity of his demands hit him all at once. His smugness disappeared, replaced by the realization that he had messed up.
“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he stammered. “I just thought—”
“You thought you could ‘fix’ me like a project?” I said, my voice calm but firm. “Jake, marriage is about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, it’ll cost you a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
There was a long silence. Jake sighed and looked at me, defeated.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see… it’s toxic. I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded. “Yes, you have. And honestly, Steve has no idea what he’s talking about. Why would you listen to him?”
Jake’s face softened as the truth hit him. “You’re right. He has no clue.”
We tore up both lists, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team. It was a reminder that marriage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being better together.
World’s Most Jaw-Dropping ‘Man-aconda’ Discovery Will Leave You Speechless!
The animal world is full of surprises, with some creatures being more eye-catching than others because of their strange looks or unusual nature.
When I first saw a picture of this weird “penis snake,” I thought it was a joke. But, to my surprise, it turned out to be a real animal. So, let’s dive into the story behind the viral image that has left thousands of people in shock.
Throughout history, anything shaped like a phallus has grabbed attention and sparked curiosity. A few years ago, images of a strange-looking creature started making the rounds online, leaving many people scratching their heads in disbelief.
With its unique appearance, this mysterious animal quickly earned nicknames like the “penis snake,” “blind snake,” or the “man-aconda.”
But no, it’s not what you think.
Even though it looks a lot like a snake, this creature is actually called *Atretochoana eiselti*. It’s not a snake at all, but an amphibian, more closely related to a salamander. It’s also the largest known lungless tetrapod, which means it breathes through its skin instead of lungs.
This rare animal lives in the waters of the Amazon in Brazil and was hard to find for a long time. It was first discovered by Sir Graham Hales during an expedition with Sir Brian Doll in the late 1800s.
However, it wasn’t officially described until 1968. After more research, scientists reclassified it in 1996, giving it its own unique genus, *Atretochoana*.
In 2011, this species was rediscovered in the Amazon region. It lives only in the Amazon River and its largest tributary, the Madeira River in Brazil. The “penis snake” has only been found in this area and nowhere else in the world.
The viral pictures that blew up the internet a few years ago actually came from 2011. That’s when a whole family of these phallic-shaped creatures was found at the bottom of the Madeira River in Brazil. They were discovered when the river was drained during work on a hydroelectric dam.
Julian Tupan, a biologist working with the Santo Antonio Energy company on the dam, explained that not much is known about these lungless, limbless amphibians.
“Out of the six we collected, one died, three were released back into the wild, and two were kept for study,” he told *Estadao*, according to the U.K.’s *The Sun*.
Tupan pointed out that these “snakes” aren’t dangerous and are unlikely to show any aggressive behavior.
“Even though they look like snakes, they’re not reptiles; they’re more closely related to salamanders and frogs. We think the animal breathes through its skin and probably eats small fish and worms, but that hasn’t been proven yet.
“The Amazon is full of surprises when it comes to reptiles and amphibians. There’s still a lot more to discover.”
The most popular photo, which Julian Tupan shared on Instagram, shows an adult female *A. eiselti* that’s just under 40 inches long.
Even though these creatures are fascinating, there’s still a lot we don’t know about them. One mystery that puzzles researchers is their diet. Scientists think these phallic-shaped animals might eat small fish, worms, and other aquatic invertebrates, but more research is needed to confirm this.
Wikipedia Commons / Tobias von AnhaltAnother mystery about these creatures is how they breathe, as scientists haven’t confirmed the method yet. When the six specimens were discovered in 2011, it made things even more puzzling. What’s especially interesting is where they were found— in cold, fast-flowing water with limited oxygen. Since warmer water holds less oxygen, their ability to live without lungs is even more remarkable.
Based on these findings, scientists believe this species might be widespread across the Brazilian Amazon and could even extend into Bolivia.
Nature constantly surprises us with its endless wonders. From the deepest oceans to the tallest mountains, the natural world is full of amazing things waiting to be discovered.
Share this incredible story on Facebook with your friends and family to spark their curiosity and get them talking about the wonders of nature!
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