Despite her age, Julia was just full of life. She constantly walked in and out of our home, ready to throw herself into our kitchen.
“I just want to feed you guys,” she told me when I asked her to sit down, ready to cook for her instead.
“I don’t have anything else to do besides meet the ladies for drinks,” she chuckled.
It usually ended with us cooking together — Toby coming home to music and laughter echoing in the kitchen.
My parents were across the country because I had moved for college, and ended up settling down here with Toby. And as much as phone and video calls kept me close to my family, at the end of the day, Julia filled the role of a mother — a mother in close proximity anyway.
After three years of being married, Toby and I were trying to have a baby.
“I’m ready if you are,” Toby told me. “I think it’s time now.”
I agreed with Toby. I was ready — I wanted to be a mom.
So, we began trying. And for months, we just couldn’t get pregnant. And the longer we tried, the more reality set in. Maybe we just weren’t meant to have biological children.
“What do you want to do?” I asked Toby. “Keep trying?”
Toby nodded. I knew that he wouldn’t ask me to do anything I didn’t want to do, but I also knew that he desperately wanted to be a father.
So, torn, I turned to my mother-in-law for advice. Julia took me to meet with a wellness coach, she took me for fertility massages, and then, she even bought Toby and I a brand new mattress.
“Maybe your body is just not rested enough,” my mother-in-law said. “Maybe you just need to give your body the best chance possible at this.”
“Do you think that it was a bit unnecessary?” I asked Toby as we got into bed that night, testing out our new mattress.
“Normally, I would have said yes,” Toby admitted. “But maybe there’s something to what Mom said. Our mattress was horrible before. Maybe it will make a difference.”
And it did. Because not even a month later, I discovered that we were pregnant. At first, I didn’t know whether to tell my husband and our family because I was so nervous about everything.
I felt that if I acknowledged the truth, then maybe I was inviting something to happen. But it made no sense — my irrational fear was selfish. Toby needed to know that we were well on our way to being parents.
“Thank goodness,” Toby said, picking me up. “Finally!”
Once we were safe within the second trimester, we told our family — satisfied that our baby’s growth was on track.
And then, before we knew it, our daughter, Maddie, was born.
My mother-in-law took over, caring for the three of us while we navigated the new waters of parenthood. She cooked and cleaned, and took over Maddie’s early morning feeding times.
Julia’s presence made me feel loved, especially because my parents were unable to come over and meet our baby yet.
Until Toby discovered something in our home that changed the way I viewed Julia forever.
Toby and I didn’t mind that Maddie spent the night in our bed – it was just easier for me to feed her through the night. But one night, Maddie had a blow-out, causing our bed to suffer the consequences.
“You sort the baby out,” Toby yawned when I woke him up to Maddie’s drama. “I’ll sort the bed out.”
I picked up my daughter and took her into the bathroom – her blow-out called for a bath, not just a diaper change. Maddie cooed and pressed her gummy hands to my face.
“Sweet girl,” I told her. “You just have to make life difficult for Dad and me, huh?”
Meanwhile, what I didn’t know was that while Toby was stripping our bed, he had uncovered something strange attached to our mattress.
By the time I was done with Maddie, she was almost asleep again. So, I took her to our bedroom, ready to put her into the crib while I helped Toby change the bedding.
“Oh, honey,” he said when he saw me standing in the doorway. “We cannot use this anymore.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, setting Maddie down. “Did she get it into the mattress?”
Toby looked nervous. He had picked up the mattress so that it stood on its side.
“No, it’s not that,” he said.
I was perplexed, watching him struggle with words. “What are you talking about? It’s just a mattress, we’ll clean it–”
“No, Larissa,” he interrupted, his voice rising in panic. “It’s not just a mattress.”
By this point, I was sleep-deprived and slightly annoyed with my husband. Toby was not a man to fumble for his words, and yet, here he was, in the early hours of the morning, too uncertain to change the sheets.
“What?”
“Look what I found,” he said.
Toby handed me a little silk bag. Inside there were various herbs. I hadn’t seen the bag before.
“What is this? Where did you find it?” I asked.
“It was pinned to the mattress. It was under the mattress protector, so I think we just didn’t notice it before.”
“Fine, but what is it for?” I asked, confused and irritable.
“It’s fertility herbs, it has to be!” Toby exclaimed.
I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Listen, I don’t know if this is true or not, but I do know that my mother believes in old wives’ tales. What if this is one of those tales?”
“She would never do that,” I said. “No way!”
“Then where else did it come from?” Toby asked flatly.
He made us sleep in the guest bedroom – where Julia slept when she stayed over. But of course, I couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t silence my mind.
I looked at Maddie, sleeping in between Toby and me. She was perfect. Sure, we had a difficult time conceiving, but Maddie was our child through and through. She had my hair and Toby’s eyes. She was ours in every sense of the word.
But there was no mistaking the fact that she was born shortly after Julia had gifted us the bed.
Could those herbs have helped with Maddie’s birth? But was that even possible?
I don’t remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, the familiar smell of gas hit my nose. Outside, Toby was dousing our mattress. He threw the match on it as I stepped outside the back door.
The mattress went up in flames in an instant – the flames seemed to dance with a fervor that matched the turmoil inside me. I was trying to understand Julia’s motives. She had always been so close to us – to me – so I couldn’t understand why she would keep this away from me.
I didn’t understand the significance of the herbs, but if she had explained it to me, I wouldn’t have felt the paranoia and fear that had settled in my body since Toby’s discovery.
“What are you doing?” I exclaimed, hearing the fire grow louder.
“We couldn’t keep it, honey. We just couldn’t,” he said.
Toby had a deep fear for anything esoteric – anything that bordered the supernatural was too much for him. He would have rather slept in our car than spent another night in the house with the mattress.
As the mattress burned, I kept an eye on the baby monitor, watching Maddie sleep. The silence between Toby and I was heavy with the uncertainty of what had been going on in our home.
Later, Julia came over to make was breakfast as usual. My husband took the lead, his voice steady but laced with an undercurrent of betrayal.
“Mom, why didn’t you tell us about the mattress? About the herbs?” he asked.
I poured Julia a cup of tea – despite everything that we had learned, she was still one of my favorite people. I loved her like I loved my mother.
My mother-in-law’s face crumpled, her usual vibrancy replaced by a somber guilt.
“I just wanted to help. I knew that you were having trouble conceiving, and I thought that if it worked, you wouldn’t care how. I never meant to hurt either of you. Especially not my granddaughter.”
“What else did you do? What’s in the bag? Other than the herbs?” Toby’s questions flew hard and fast around our living room.
“Nothing!” Julia exclaimed, finally registering Toby’s fear. “It’s just dried herbs. I can give you a list of them,” she said. “I’ll take you both to the store where I got them from. It’s a sweet little apothecary next to my dentist. It’s a store all about natural wellness.”
“You could have just told us,” I found myself saying. “How we can trust anything you do now? How do we know if our baby is a miracle baby or just an outcome of your herbs?”
“Does that matter?” she asked, her eyes brimming with tears. “Maddie is here and she’s ours.”
I couldn’t exactly argue with that. Of course, Maddie was ours. I was just feeling wounded that Julia had done this and not told me. I also felt obligated to be angry with her – because my husband was livid.
“I’m sorry,” my mother-in-law whispered. “I really am.”
At her words, I felt Toby soften next to me.
“We need to start over, Mom,” he said. “If you plan on doing anything like this again, you have to tell us first. We need to know what’s going on in our own homes.”
Julia nodded and smiled at us. She seemed shaken that we had discovered the truth.
I was confused – there was a part of me that was eternally grateful to her because I know how difficult it was for us to get pregnant. But at the same time, how could sleeping on a bunch of herbs actually help us get pregnant?
Toby spent the rest of the day looking for mattresses online, while Julia baked us a tart for lunch. I just reveled in spending time with my daughter.
What do you think? Do you believe in natural remedies and old wives tales?
The Heartwrenching Life of Mary Tyler Moore
Mary Tyler Moore spent decades as “America’s Sweetheart,” starring in popular shows like The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. But behind her Hollywood success, her life was filled with family tragedies. Here is the story of Mary Tyler Moore.
Mary Tyler Moore was born on December 29, 1936, in Brooklyn, New York, to George Tyler Moore, a clerk, and Marjorie Hackett Moore. She was the oldest of three children in a Catholic family, raised in a home her father called “impoverished nobility.”
Mary Tyler Moore – Childhood
Brooklyn was a diverse place during Mary’s childhood. As an English-Irish Catholic, she grew up in an orthodox Jewish neighborhood. Though it was different from what she was used to, Mary found it exciting. “My background is exciting,” she said. “We integrated ourselves, fought each other, called each other names, but through it all we were friends.”
Mary loved dancing as a young girl. When she was five, her family moved to Los Angeles, bringing her closer to her dream of being in show business. After World War II, the Moore family settled in Los Angeles, where Mary’s successful uncle, Harold Hackett, encouraged the move.
Moving to Los Angeles
Starting at the bottom, Mary worked hard to achieve her dream. She attended grammar school in Hollywood and later went to a Catholic school. She wasn’t the best student and struggled with self-confidence, especially with a father who was an expert on movie classics.
However, Mary knew that if she was going to make it in show business, LA was the place to be. She focused on singing and dancing and worked in the mailroom of a Hollywood company in 1953. Although it wasn’t glamorous, it was a step toward her dream. But Mary wasn’t meant to stay in a mailroom.
Mary would often sit in on radio show rehearsals, and she eventually took dance classes, which her aunt paid for. By the time she graduated high school, Mary was well on her way to a career in show business.
Mary Tyler Moore – Dancer
In 1955, Mary got her first on-screen role as a dancer in TV commercials for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. She played “Happy Hotpoint” in 39 segments, earning $6,000. At just 17 years old, Mary was now a professional dancer. But soon, she found out she was pregnant, which changed everything.
Mary had married Richard Carleton Meeker in 1955, and they had a son, Richard “Richie” Meeker Jr., in 1956. She wrote in her memoir how difficult it was to continue working as an actress while pregnant. She even had to squeeze into a costume that became tighter as her pregnancy progressed.
Mary Tyler Moore – Comedy Shows
After her pregnancy, Mary’s career took off. She appeared in several TV shows, and although she was often hired for her “beautiful dancer legs,” she soon proved she had real talent. In the early 1960s, she was cast as Laura Petrie on The Dick Van Dyke Show. The show became a huge success, known for its clever humor. Mary won two Emmys and a Golden Globe for her work on the show.
After the show ended in 1966, Mary took a break to focus on family and movies. However, she found her true calling in comedy shows. In 1970, she got her own show, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, where she played the role of Mary Richards, a single woman working as a producer at a fictional news station. The show was groundbreaking and became an instant hit.
Mary’s show ran for seven seasons and 168 episodes, earning her many awards. But it wasn’t all easy. Before the pilot aired, both Mary and the writers were worried. They had a terrible first run-through, and Mary cried herself to sleep. But the writers made changes, and the show became a huge success.
Mary Tyler Moore – Awards
The show was filmed in front of a live audience, which made it nerve-wracking for Mary, who often had to perform dance routines perfectly. “It was do or die,” she said. Mary won several awards for her role, including three Emmys and a Golden Globe, proving her talent.
However, behind the success, Mary faced personal struggles. Both she and her mother battled alcoholism. Mary’s sister passed away from a combination of alcohol and painkillers, and Mary’s own son also faced addiction and tragic loss.
Alcohol Abuse
Mary’s alcoholism worsened during her marriage to Grant Tinker. She would drink to cope with unhappiness, even playing “Russian roulette” with her car. After their divorce in 1980, Mary’s drinking continued until she checked into the Betty Ford Center for help. She managed to stop drinking and found strength during her recovery.
Tragic Passing of Son Ritchie Meeker
Mary’s son, Richie Meeker, tragically passed away in October 1980 after accidentally shooting himself with a gun. Richie had struggled with addiction, and his death was devastating for Mary. She later spread his ashes in the Owens River in California and wrote about her grief in her memoir.
Mary Tyler Moore – Academy Award
Despite the heartbreak, Mary continued to find success. In 1980, she starred in Ordinary People, earning an Oscar nomination for Best Actress. She also won a Tony Award for her Broadway performance in Whose Life Is It Anyway?.
Mary married Robert Levine in 1983, and they stayed together until her death in 2017. In her later years, Mary battled complications from diabetes, including heart and kidney problems. She also lost her vision, and in 2011, she had a benign tumor removed from her brain.
Mary Tyler Moore passed away on January 25, 2017, at the age of 80 due to cardiopulmonary arrest, following a battle with pneumonia. Her death was met with tributes from fellow celebrities, including Robert Redford and Oprah Winfrey.
Mary Tyler Moore had a tough life behind the scenes, but she will always be remembered for her talent, grace, and kindness. She will be missed, but her legacy lives on.
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