It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
The Heartwrenching Life of Mary Tyler Moore
Mary Tyler Moore spent decades as “America’s Sweetheart,” starring in popular shows like The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. But behind her Hollywood success, her life was filled with family tragedies. Here is the story of Mary Tyler Moore.
Mary Tyler Moore was born on December 29, 1936, in Brooklyn, New York, to George Tyler Moore, a clerk, and Marjorie Hackett Moore. She was the oldest of three children in a Catholic family, raised in a home her father called “impoverished nobility.”
Mary Tyler Moore – Childhood
Brooklyn was a diverse place during Mary’s childhood. As an English-Irish Catholic, she grew up in an orthodox Jewish neighborhood. Though it was different from what she was used to, Mary found it exciting. “My background is exciting,” she said. “We integrated ourselves, fought each other, called each other names, but through it all we were friends.”
Mary loved dancing as a young girl. When she was five, her family moved to Los Angeles, bringing her closer to her dream of being in show business. After World War II, the Moore family settled in Los Angeles, where Mary’s successful uncle, Harold Hackett, encouraged the move.
Moving to Los Angeles
Starting at the bottom, Mary worked hard to achieve her dream. She attended grammar school in Hollywood and later went to a Catholic school. She wasn’t the best student and struggled with self-confidence, especially with a father who was an expert on movie classics.
However, Mary knew that if she was going to make it in show business, LA was the place to be. She focused on singing and dancing and worked in the mailroom of a Hollywood company in 1953. Although it wasn’t glamorous, it was a step toward her dream. But Mary wasn’t meant to stay in a mailroom.
Mary would often sit in on radio show rehearsals, and she eventually took dance classes, which her aunt paid for. By the time she graduated high school, Mary was well on her way to a career in show business.
Mary Tyler Moore – Dancer
In 1955, Mary got her first on-screen role as a dancer in TV commercials for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. She played “Happy Hotpoint” in 39 segments, earning $6,000. At just 17 years old, Mary was now a professional dancer. But soon, she found out she was pregnant, which changed everything.
Mary had married Richard Carleton Meeker in 1955, and they had a son, Richard “Richie” Meeker Jr., in 1956. She wrote in her memoir how difficult it was to continue working as an actress while pregnant. She even had to squeeze into a costume that became tighter as her pregnancy progressed.
Mary Tyler Moore – Comedy Shows
After her pregnancy, Mary’s career took off. She appeared in several TV shows, and although she was often hired for her “beautiful dancer legs,” she soon proved she had real talent. In the early 1960s, she was cast as Laura Petrie on The Dick Van Dyke Show. The show became a huge success, known for its clever humor. Mary won two Emmys and a Golden Globe for her work on the show.
After the show ended in 1966, Mary took a break to focus on family and movies. However, she found her true calling in comedy shows. In 1970, she got her own show, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, where she played the role of Mary Richards, a single woman working as a producer at a fictional news station. The show was groundbreaking and became an instant hit.
Mary’s show ran for seven seasons and 168 episodes, earning her many awards. But it wasn’t all easy. Before the pilot aired, both Mary and the writers were worried. They had a terrible first run-through, and Mary cried herself to sleep. But the writers made changes, and the show became a huge success.
Mary Tyler Moore – Awards
The show was filmed in front of a live audience, which made it nerve-wracking for Mary, who often had to perform dance routines perfectly. “It was do or die,” she said. Mary won several awards for her role, including three Emmys and a Golden Globe, proving her talent.
However, behind the success, Mary faced personal struggles. Both she and her mother battled alcoholism. Mary’s sister passed away from a combination of alcohol and painkillers, and Mary’s own son also faced addiction and tragic loss.
Alcohol Abuse
Mary’s alcoholism worsened during her marriage to Grant Tinker. She would drink to cope with unhappiness, even playing “Russian roulette” with her car. After their divorce in 1980, Mary’s drinking continued until she checked into the Betty Ford Center for help. She managed to stop drinking and found strength during her recovery.
Tragic Passing of Son Ritchie Meeker
Mary’s son, Richie Meeker, tragically passed away in October 1980 after accidentally shooting himself with a gun. Richie had struggled with addiction, and his death was devastating for Mary. She later spread his ashes in the Owens River in California and wrote about her grief in her memoir.
Mary Tyler Moore – Academy Award
Despite the heartbreak, Mary continued to find success. In 1980, she starred in Ordinary People, earning an Oscar nomination for Best Actress. She also won a Tony Award for her Broadway performance in Whose Life Is It Anyway?.
Mary married Robert Levine in 1983, and they stayed together until her death in 2017. In her later years, Mary battled complications from diabetes, including heart and kidney problems. She also lost her vision, and in 2011, she had a benign tumor removed from her brain.
Mary Tyler Moore passed away on January 25, 2017, at the age of 80 due to cardiopulmonary arrest, following a battle with pneumonia. Her death was met with tributes from fellow celebrities, including Robert Redford and Oprah Winfrey.
Mary Tyler Moore had a tough life behind the scenes, but she will always be remembered for her talent, grace, and kindness. She will be missed, but her legacy lives on.
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