My mother did everything in her power to prevent me from seeing my father after they divorced. But once my dad tricked me on the phone, and everything changed.
“I don’t want to see you ever again!” my mom yelled as my father got into the car and left our home forever. That was my earliest memory. Dad left when I was two years old after a huge fight with my mother.
They got divorced, and I didn’t see him for many years. As I got older, I realized that my mother was preventing me from seeing my father. “I want to visit Dad. Please!” I begged when I was ten years old.
“No! You can’t go see him. He’s busy with his new family and doesn’t want to see you,” she replied.
“I know that’s not true! You’re lying to me! I talk to him on the phone, and he wants to see me!” I cried, pleading with her to see my father.
“Don’t talk back to me, Alexandra! Your father left us and doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with you now,” Mom said. I thought that was unfair, but I was still just a child.
My dad and I kept in constant contact over the phone, but I really wanted to spend time with him, and I knew he wanted the same. However, Mom was an expert at getting her way.
As a teenager, I decided to go on my own to see him, and she called the cops on me. They picked me up before I could reach his house and drove me back home.
“The next time you try to disobey me, I will say that your father kidnapped you, and he will go to jail where he belongs!” she screamed at me when the cops left.
Back then, I thought she was doing the right thing for me, but as I grew up, I realized that it was pure selfishness on her part. I didn’t want to hang out with her or do anything. I also started rebelling at school. She drove a huge wedge between us, and I didn’t care anymore.
“Alexandra, do you want to go shopping with me?” she asked me one day. I was 17 years old and had grown to almost hate her.
“Nope,” I answered.
“How about the movies?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you want to do anything with me?” she whined.
“Really? You’re asking me that question? You know exactly why I treat you this way,” I said in a bored tone.
“I have done nothing to you! All the sacrifices I have made for you, and you’re so ungrateful!” Mom yelled once more.
“Yeah, ok. Close the door, please,” I added.
By then, I was immune to her tantrums and how she victimized herself to get away with things. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back.
But seeing my dad wasn’t any easier. I had to work two jobs and go to school. He was also busy with work, and his second wife had just delivered twins by then. Neither of us had time, so we put it off.
I met with him on a Saturday afternoon at his house and met his wife. They showed me the twins, and we talked for a while. But it felt so awkward that I didn’t want to do it again. Maybe my mother had ruined any chance I had at a relationship with him.
We talked on the phone for a long time once a week. I asked about the twins and told him about my life. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked for us. Years went by this way. I didn’t hear of my mother until I was 29 years old.
“Hey, Alexandra,” she spoke on the phone tentatively.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” I answered, confused with her call.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. How about you?” I replied. We chitchatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and then she got to the point.
“Listen, honey. I was hoping that we could work on mending our relationship. How does that sound?” Mom wondered.
“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for everything?” I retorted.
“I…I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I was trying to protect you from being hurt like I was when you were little. But I understand that you felt differently,” she explained.
“So, you’re not apologizing?” I continued, tired of this conversation. She was never going to acknowledge her wrongs, and I had no time for that.
“Alexandra! I’m your mother. You haven’t talked to me in years! You’re so selfish!” she wailed, raising her voice.
“Ok, goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. She tried calling me back, but I ignored her. I would not let her back into my life until she apologized.
Another year went by, and I received a strange call from my dad. He never called during working hours. “Alexandra! This is an emergency! Can you come to see me?” Dad said urgently through the phone.
“What? Dad? What’s going on?” I asked, worried.
“I sent you an address. Come quickly! This is a matter of life or death!” he told me and hung up.
I went to my boss, took a day off work, and ran to my car. But the address Dad gave me took me right to an amusement park close to his house.
“Hey, honey!” he smiled when I met him at the front gate.
“Dad! Why are we here? What’s the emergency?” I asked, confused.
“The emergency is that you and I never got to do all the fun things father and daughters do over the years. We have put off building a real relationship, and I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s go have fun!” Dad explained.
“Can you go on the rides? I know you have had some health problems lately,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m fit as a fiddle. Come on!” he urged.
We spent the entire day at the park and talked about everything. I felt like a child for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.
I also told him about my problems with Mom and how hard it was when she didn’t let me see him. “Your mother is complicated and full of pride. But she’s not evil. We didn’t work out, and she couldn’t take it,” he started.
“Yeah, I wished I could’ve lived with you,” I told him.
“Well, I was pretty lost for many years trying to figure things out. We might have hated each other. But here we are, and I think you should patch things up with her. Life is too short to hold grudges,” he said.
After that marvelous day at the park, we went to dinner. When I got home, I called Mom and told her everything I felt regarding my dad. How she hurt me back then by not letting me spend time with him and how fun our day had been. She cried and apologized to me for the first time. I felt like she understood, and we started talking more often.
Meanwhile, I grew closer to my dad and loved babysitting my twin half-siblings. We even took them to the amusement park for a fun day too.
I finally had the childhood I always wanted.
What can we learn from this story?
Divorce happens between couples, not with children. Alexandra’s mother didn’t understand that her father divorced her but wanted a relationship with their daughter.
Life is too short for grudges. Alexandra’s father is right. Sometimes, it’s better to forgive for your own sake. Let go of things that make you angry, and your mental health will improve.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
Shannen Doherty prepares for her death by selling possessions she doesn’t need
Shannen Doherty has recently provided an update on her health journey during an episode of her podcast. The renowned actress, known for her role in “Charmed,” has been battling stage 4 breast cancer since 2019. In the April 1 episode of “Let’s Be Clear,” she candidly discussed her preparations for the possibility of death by letting go of many of her material possessions. Doherty has been cleaning out her storage units to make things easier for her family, especially her mother, in the event of her passing. She emphasized that her current priority is her mother and expressed her desire to minimize the burden on her by reducing the amount of belongings she leaves behind. By donating and selling off her extra possessions, particularly furniture, she aims to alleviate the workload her mother would face. Doherty, who is now 52 years old, wants to ensure that her mother doesn’t have to deal with the challenge of managing four storage units filled with furniture. She also mentioned a recent trip to her Tennessee home where she made the difficult decision to let go of her aspirations of fostering horses on the property.
Upon reflection, Doherty shared her emotional journey of packing up and shedding tears as she grappled with the idea of giving up on a dream. She questioned whether this meant giving up on life itself or simply throwing in the towel. Her mother’s reassurance that she didn’t have to let go of the place gave her the strength to continue. However, upon returning to the property and realizing the extensive repairs needed, she found it easier to release it. Doherty acknowledged that while parting ways with something significant can be heartbreaking, it can also bring a sense of peace and tranquility. She emphasized that the challenging work she’s undertaking now will ultimately benefit her loved ones by facilitating a smoother transition. This process prompted her to contemplate the value of material possessions.
Throughout the process, Doherty has come to the realization that the money she makes from selling some of her belongings can be used in more meaningful ways.
“I have the opportunity to create new memories and share experiences with my loved ones,” she expressed. “I can treat my mom to vacations because I have extra spending money available, without having to dip into my savings that will secure the future of everyone in my life once I’m gone,” she added.
During a recent episode of her podcast on January 29, Doherty mentioned that she was responding positively to a new type of cancer treatment, referring to the results as a “miracle,” although she did not disclose the specific medication she was undergoing.
“After undergoing four treatments without much improvement, everyone suggested I switch, but I decided to persist and see how it goes,” Doherty shared during her conversation with her radiation oncologist, Dr. Amin Mirhadi.
Following the sixth or seventh treatment, significant progress was observed in breaking down the blood-brain barrier. Describing it as a miracle, the actor expressed, “It feels like a miracle to me at this moment. It was like I took a chance and decided to continue.” In 2023, Doherty disclosed that her cancer had metastasized to her brain and bones. Typically, even potent chemotherapy struggles to breach the blood-brain barrier and target brain tumors, as stated by Northwestern Medicine.
Referring to the new treatment’s effectiveness, she mentioned, “It’s like a miracle, maybe God intervened and decided to give me a break.” Doherty emphasized the importance of recognizing miracles that may be right in front of us, rather than searching in the wrong places.
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