Eight years of marriage shattered in one quick breath when my husband Mike brought home his pregnant sidekick and KICKED ME OUT of the house. I packed alright, but what I unpacked was a revenge plot so brilliant and karmic!
Portrait of a sad young woman | Source: Midjourney
It was a Tuesday evening when my life decided to go off the rails. I walked into our living room, tired from a long day at work, only to find a heavily pregnant woman sitting on our couch, eating chips.
At first, I thought maybe I’d accidentally wandered into the wrong house.
But no, there was our ugly floral wallpaper that Mike insisted on keeping, and there was Mike, looking like he’d just swallowed a porcupine.
A pregnant woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
“Hey, Michelle,” he said, his voice as casual as if he was asking me to pass the salt. “We need to talk.”
I stood there, frozen, my brain trying to compute the scene before me. The pregnant woman smiled awkwardly, her hand on her belly, looking like she was auditioning for a soap opera.
“This is Jessica,” Mike continued, gesturing to the human incubator on our couch. “She’s pregnant. With my child. It… it just happened. And we’ve decided to be together.”
A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney
I waited for the punchline. Surely, this was some elaborate prank for a new reality TV show. Maybe I’d win a car if I didn’t freak out?
But Mike’s face remained serious, and Jessica kept smiling that infuriating smile.
“Mike,” I said slowly, “what do you mean by ‘it just happened’? Did you trip and fall into her—?”
Mike had the audacity to look offended. “Enough, Michelle! This is serious. I think it’s best if you move out. You can go stay with your mom. Jess and I’ll take over the house.”
A serious-looking man sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nope, still not a dream.
I was half-expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I’d been Punk’d. But alas, no Ashton. Just my cheating husband and his very pregnant sidekick.
“Alright,” I calmly said. “I’ll pack my things and leave.”
Mike looked relieved, probably thinking he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile grew wider, like she’d just won the lottery. Little did they know, the lottery was about to hit them back, and hit them hard.
A heartbroken woman at the doorway | Source: Midjourney
I went upstairs, packed a suitcase with some essentials, and left without another word.
As I drove to my mom’s house, the shock wore off, and rage took its place. But this wasn’t just any rage. This was the kind of rage that makes you want to do something spectacularly stupid and incredibly satisfying.
The next day, I set my plan in motion.
First stop: the bank. I marched in there like a woman on a mission, which I was. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained why was priceless. I’m pretty sure he was mentally taking notes for his next novel.
A woman outside a bank | Source: Midjourney
Next, I visited a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to execute my master plan. It was like the universe was conspiring in my favor, and who was I to argue with destiny?
My next stop: my house. The same cozy house Mike and I once lived together, planning a future that was now a total trainwreck.
The puzzled locksmith probably thought I was crazy, cackling as I had him change all the locks on the house. I may have gone a bit overboard and asked for the most complicated, high-tech locks available. Hey, if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. And big.
A locksmith fixing a door lock | Source: Midjourney
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and scheduled them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the piece de resistance? Oh, that was yet to come. I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but long-lasting.
Toilet paper rolls in a basket | Source: Midjourney
I sent out party invitations. Lots of them. To Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, even that nosy neighbor who always complained about our late dog.
The invitation read: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
A party invitation | Source: Midjourney
Then, I commissioned a billboard. Yes, a billboard. A huge one. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn, impossible to miss.
In giant, bold letters, it proclaimed: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my handiwork, feeling like a mischievous fairy godmother who’d just granted the world’s most ironic wish. With a satisfied smirk and a dramatic hair flip, I sashayed away from the scene, eagerly anticipating the chaos that was about to unfold.
A billboard outside a house | Source: Midjourney
The next evening, right on cue, my phone rang. It was Mike, and he sounded like he was having an aneurysm.
“Michelle!” he screeched, his voice hitting octaves I didn’t know he could reach. “What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this insane billboard?”
“Oh, that?” I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
A startled man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, honey, you told me to move out, remember? You never said anything about you staying there. I just remembered that the house is solely under my name. So, I changed the locks. Oopsie!”
There was a long silence on the other end. I could almost hear the gears in his tiny brain trying to process what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally sputtered.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
A smiling woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I hung up, feeling lighter than I had in years. But wait, there was more!
In the days that followed, I had the utilities cut off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our joint assets were transferred into my name. I listed the house for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at work. I specifically requested the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for funsies.
But the universe wasn’t done with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best for last.
A man gaping in shock as he holds some papers | Source: Midjourney
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. Yes, that Jessica. She was crying so hard I could barely understand her.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying to keep the glee out of my voice, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
Silhouette of a pregnant woman holding a smartphone | Source: Midjourney
As it turns out, when Jessica found out that Mike was now homeless, broke, and the laughingstock of the town, she decided that maybe being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t such a great idea after all.
She dumped him faster than you can say “Karma’s a b****!”
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed his hungry belly. His family had cut him off, disgusted by his behavior.
They even sent me a fruit basket and a sorry card. I ate the fruits while soaking in my new jacuzzi.
As for me? Well, the house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
A woman with her pet cat | Source: Midjourney
So yeah, my revenge might have been a bit over the top. But let’s be real, bringing home a pregnant mistress and trying to kick me out of my own house? That’s not just crossing a line, that’s pole-vaulting over it and then setting the pole on fire.
In the end, I learned a valuable lesson: When life gives you lemons, don’t just make lemonade. Squeeze those lemons into the eyes of those who wronged you, and then sit back and watch them stumble around blindly. It’s much more satisfying.
And remember, folks: cheaters never prosper, but the cheated-on with a good sense of humor and a flair for the dramatic? Oh, we do just fine!
A cheerful woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
My Wife Found Sweaters She Knitted for Our Grandkids at a Thrift Store – She Was So Heartbroken, I Had to Teach Them a Lesson
I just discovered that occasionally extreme tactics are necessary to get your message across to someone. Grounding my grandchildren for what they did to my wife wasn’t going to be a sufficient lesson in this case. I set them a challenging task to ensure their redemption. I, Clarence (74), have always thought my wife Jenny (73), is the loveliest and most kindhearted person. This was particularly true with regard to our grandchildren. She knits them exquisitely detailed sweaters every year for their birthdays and Christmas. She puts all of her heart into this tradition. She would frequently begin new initiatives more earlier than necessary.
This was done to guarantee that every child received a unique item created particularly for them. She would make the kids stuffed animals for their birthdays. Maybe a blanket for the grandchildren who are older. We just had a trip and decided to stop by our neighborhood thrift store last week. For our landscaping project, we were trying to find some old-fashioned pots. What was supposed to be a relaxing trip became an unforgettable, heartbreaking experience!Something I wish we could take back from our shared history. My wife stopped as we were browsing the aisles. Her gaze fixed on something, causing her to momentarily stop. “What the heck is that? She questioned, gesturing with a quivering finger, “Am I seeing things? The sweaters she had crocheted for our grandchildren were hanging there among a gazillion other trashed stuff! All of them were for sale! Among them, there was a blue-and-grey-striped one that was definitely the one Jenny made for our oldest grandchild last Christmas.
\It was clear from the expression on her face. She stretched out and caressed the fabric softly, and her heart broke. She tried to hide her pain with a grin and a repression of tears. Her voice was barely audible as she said, “It’s okay, I understand that kids might be embarrassed to wear grandma’s sweaters.” I could hardly contain my emotions as I drew her closer for an embrace, realizing how hurt she was. No, this wasn’t acceptable, and unfortunately for our family, my wife was more understanding than I was. They committed a heartless, destructive, and blatantly cruel act! Even though she maintained her composure, I couldn’t help but feel furious! Once I was sure she was asleep, I went back to the thrift store that evening and bought back everything she had made! I had made up my mind to put this right. I made the decision to impart a significant life lesson to our grandchildren without even speaking to my wife! One that would instill in them the value of showing gratitude for future blessings. I made a package for each grandchild the following day. I put wool, knitting needles, and a basic set of knitting instructions inside each. I added a picture of the sweater they had thrown away along with a severe note that said, “I know what you did.” You had better start knitting your own gifts now!”Grandma and I are coming for dinner, and you better be wearing her presents,” I said in my note. Alternatively, I’ll notify your parents and you won’t receive any further gifts for birthdays or Christmas. As one could guess, there was a wide range of reactions! A few of the grandchildren apologized sheepishly over the phone. They acknowledged that they were unaware of the significance of these gifts. Some remained mute, maybe feeling awkward or not knowing what to say. But the point had been made. When dinnertime finally arrived, there was a palpable sense of excitement. Our grandkids arrived one by one. All of them wearing the sweaters that nobody thought were worthy. To be very honest, some of the art they produced was absurdly poor! The one short design and one long hand made me chuckle uncontrollably! Some sweaters were obviously dropped mid-project, while others were simply too large! Not a single reproduction could have done MY Jenny’s original work justice. When sincere regret was expressed through their apologies, the tension subsided. Our oldest grandchild stated to their parents, “We are so sorry for taking your gifts for granted, Grandma,” while their parents watched. “We swear never to give away anything you’ve lovingly made for us ever again.” They made an attempt at knitting. They became aware of the passion and work that went into every stitch as a result. “Our oldest grandchild admitted that this was harder than he had anticipated, Grandpa.”
He continued tugging at the sleeves of his hurriedly constructed attempt as he spoke. Another person said, “Yeah, I’m sorry, Grandma,” with wide eyes. “It took me hours to finish one section of a scarf!” Bless her heart, my wife pardoned them, giving each one her customary warmth and compassion. “I’m amazed you got them to do this much!” Jenny loved our grandchildren and turned to face me. I needed to take action, my darling. I couldn’t allow them to believe that your gifts were just throwaway objects. I knew I had made the right decision when we embraced and she opened her warm heart to me. The laughter increased and the mood lightened as we ate dinner. This difficult lesson bonded everyone. It served as a helpful reminder of the importance of recognizing and appreciating one another’s work. Ultimately, our grandchildren gained knowledge about love, respect, and the elegance of a handcrafted gift in addition to learning how to knit a basic stitch. My wife felt better when she saw that her efforts were eventually recognized. I discovered how much of an impact she had on bringing our family together. The grandchildren added one more thing as we were wrapping up our dinner: “We promise to cherish our handmade gifts forever.” A promise that brought my wife more warmth than any sweater could have! I said to them, “I have one last surprise for you all,” before I left. I ran to the car and returned with a bunch of big plastic bags. “Open them,” I told our grandchildren. When they discovered every sweater Jenny had given them, they were all beaming with happiness. When they transitioned from their awful attempts at knitting to the flawless sculptures my wife had made them, they were like completely different persons. “Grandma and grandpa, thank you so much!” they exclaimed as they gave us a warm hug before we left. The spouse of a woman in the following tale was in need of some important life lessons. Before she put her foot down, he had developed the poor habit of making purchases—big and small—without getting her approval.
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