We never get tired of good jokes that put a smile on our face and the following one will definitely make your day.
The truth is that there are certain women who marry quite older men for the sake of their inheritance, and the lady from this story is one such woman.
She never missed a week to go and visit her husband’s grave and water the flowers. But whenever she would leave the graveyard, she would walk away with her back turned.
A young gentleman who witnessed this happening each week couldn’t help but approach her and have a little chat with her.
“I see that you have shown exceptional respect to your deceased husband. I noticed that you don’t turn your back when you leave, which is very beautiful!” he said.
The woman, looking straight into his eyes gave a reply that left him completely speechless.
“Well, sir, my husband always used to tell me that I have a behind that could raise the dead from their graves. I don’t want to take any chances!”
Isn’t this hilarious?
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My Husband Insisted I Stay Home with Our Ill Children While He Vacationed — He’ll Always Remember the Lesson I Gave Him
When our kids fell ill and couldn’t go on our planned family vacation, my husband just ditched us and went alone. What he didn’t know was that his little “me time” getaway would cost him way more than he bargained for.
I trdged through the front door at 8:30 p.m., my feet throbbing after a grueling twelve-hour shift at the hospital. The cacophony hit me like a wall: cartoons blaring from the TV, Zach and Penny shrieking as they chased each other around the living room.
And there was Garrett, sprawled on the couch like a beached whale, beer in hand.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, not bothering to look up from his phone. “Rough day?”
I bit back a sarcastic reply. “You could say that. The ER was a madhouse.” I glanced at the disaster zone of toys and snack wrappers surrounding him. “Did you feed the kids dinner?”
Garrett shrugged. “They had some chips earlier. I figured you’d want to cook when you got home.”
I closed my eyes, counting to ten. This had become our new normal over the past few years. I’d come home from saving lives to find a house in chaos and a husband who couldn’t be bothered to lift a finger.
“Mommy!” Penny latched onto my leg, her blonde pigtails askew. “I’m starving!”
I forced a smile. “Okay, sweetie. Let’s get you both some real food.”
As I reheated leftovers, my mind drifted to our upcoming beach vacation. Maybe a change of scenery would help us reconnect, remind Garrett why we fell in love in the first place.
“So, you packed for the trip yet?” I asked, setting plates in front of the kids.
Garrett grunted. “Nah, I’ll throw some stuff in a bag tomorrow. No big deal.”
I sighed. “We leave in two days, Garrett. A little planning wouldn’t kill you.”
He rolled his eyes. “Relax, it’ll be fine. You worry too much.”
The night before our flight, I woke to the sound of retching. Zach was hunched over the toilet, his face pale and clammy. Within an hour, Penny was sick too.
I gently broke the news to Garrett over breakfast. “We’ll have to postpone the trip. The kids have a nasty stomach bug.”
He froze, fork halfway to his mouth. “What? No way. I’ve been looking forward to this for months!”
“I know, but they’re too sick to travel. We can reschedule”
Garrett’s jaw clenched. “I’m still going.”
I stared at him, sure I’d misheard. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. I need this break, Nora. Work’s been insane lately.”
“And my job isn’t?” I snapped. “I’m a nurse, Garrett. I deal with real emergencies every day.”
He scoffed. “It’s not a competition. Look, you stay with the kids. I’ll go enjoy the beach for both of us.”
I watched in disbelief as he packed his suitcase, ignoring Zach and Penny’s disappointed faces. As the front door slammed behind him, something inside me snapped.
The next week was hell. I juggled caring for two miserable children, all while stewing in rage every time Garrett sent a smug beach selfie.
On Friday, my phone buzzed with another photo: Garrett grinning over a fancy cocktail, caption reading “Living the dream!”
That was it. I had had enough, and I had a plan.
I marched into the garage, surveying Garrett’s precious “man cave.” His fishing gear, the boat he’d barely used, piles of expensive junk he’d accumulated over the years. A plan formed in my mind.
I spent the next few hours photographing everything, creating listings on the local buy-and-sell site. Within days, Garrett’s prized possessions were gone, replaced by a fat wad of cash in my purse.
“Guess what, kids?” I announced over breakfast. “We’re going on our own special vacation!”
Their eyes lit up. Zach pumped his fist. “Awesome! Where are we going?”
I grinned. “It’s a surprise. But I promise it’ll be even better than Dad’s boring old beach.”
We arrived at the resort a few days later, the kids bouncing with excitement. As I watched them splash in the pool, I felt lighter than I had in years.
“Mom, watch this!” Zach called, attempting a cannonball. I cheered, then turned to help Penny blow up her water wings.
“You’re a natural with them,” a voice behind me said. I turned to see a woman about my age smiling. “Single mom?”
I hesitated. “It’s… complicated.”
She nodded knowingly. “I’ve been there. I’m Tessa, by the way.”
We chatted as the kids played, swapping stories about work and parenthood. It felt good to connect with someone who understood.
“So, what’s your story?” Tessa asked, sipping her lemonade.
I sighed. “My husband decided to go on our family vacation without us when the kids got sick. Left me to deal with everything while he partied on the beach.”
Tessa’s eyes widened. “Seriously? What a jerk!”
I nodded. “Yeah, it was the last straw. I’ve been putting up with his selfishness for years, but this — I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
“So what did you do?” she asked.
A mischievous smile crept across my face. “I sold all his precious toys and used the money to bring the kids here.”
Tessa burst out laughing. “Oh my God, that’s brilliant! How’d he take it?”
“He doesn’t know yet,” I admitted. “But I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough.”
As if on cue, my phone started buzzing. Garrett’s name flashed on the screen.
“Speaking of the devil,” I muttered. “I should probably take this.”
Tessa gave me an encouraging nod. “Go get ’em, tiger.”
I stepped away from the pool, taking a deep breath before answering. “Hello?”
“Where the hell is all my stuff?” Garrett shouted, not bothering with a greeting.
I leaned against a palm tree, surprisingly calm. “Oh, you noticed? I thought you’d be too busy ‘living the dream’ to care.”
“Don’t play games, Nora. What did you do?”
“I sold it,” I said simply. “All of it. Your precious fishing rods, that boat you never use, everything.”
There was a moment of stunned silence. Then, “You what? How could you!”
“How could I?” I interrupted, my voice rising. “How could you abandon your sick children for a beach vacation? How could you ignore everything I do for this family?”
“That’s different! I work hard to provide for you.”
“And I don’t?” I shot back. “I’m done, Garrett. Done with your selfishness, done with being taken for granted.”
He sputtered, “What are you saying?”
I took a deep breath. “I’m saying I want a divorce.”
The line went quiet. When Garrett spoke again, his voice was low and dangerous. “You’ll regret this, Nora. I’ll make sure of it.”
I hung up, my hands shaking. Part of me wanted to cry, to mourn the life we’d built together. But a larger part felt… free.
I walked back to the pool, where Tessa was indulging in a cocktail.
“Everything okay?” she asked, concern etched on her face.
I nodded, managing a small smile. “Yeah, I think it will be. I just told my husband I want a divorce.”
Tessa’s eyes widened. “Wow, that’s huge. How do you feel?”
“Scared,” I admitted. “But also relieved? Like I can finally breathe again.”
She squeezed my hand. “That’s totally normal. Trust me, it gets better.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon playing with the kids, building elaborate sandcastles and splashing in the waves. For the first time in years, I felt genuinely happy.
That night, as I tucked the kids into bed, Zach looked up at me with serious eyes. “Mom, are you and Dad getting divorced?”
My breath caught in my throat. “Why do you ask that, sweetie?”
He shrugged. “I heard you on the phone. And you seem happier here without him.”
I sat on the edge of his bed, choosing my words carefully. “Your dad and I have been having problems for a while now. We’re going to try to work things out, but… yes, we might get divorced.”
Zach nodded solemnly. “Okay. As long as you’re happy, Mom. That’s what matters.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I hugged him tight. “When did you get so wise, huh?”
After the kids were asleep, I stood on the balcony, watching the moonlight dance on the waves. My phone buzzed with a text from Garrett:
“This isn’t over. I’ll see you in court.”
I took a deep breath, letting the ocean air fill my lungs. The road ahead would be tough, but I felt ready to face whatever came my way.
As I crawled into bed, I thought about the uncertain future ahead of us. It was terrifying, yes, but also exhilarating. For the first time in years, I felt like I was taking control of my life.
Tomorrow would bring new challenges, but for now, I let the sound of the ocean lull me to sleep, dreaming of the fresh start waiting on the horizon.
What would you have done?
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