Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
My Husband’s Lover Came to Me for a Massage, Not Knowing I’m His Wife
You never think it’ll happen to you. I thought my husband and I had built a life that no one could touch. But then a young, beautiful woman walked into my massage studio and started talking about her life. What she said left me speechless, but my response left her paralyzed.
I never imagined that a routine appointment at my massage studio would unravel my entire marriage. The woman on my table that day had no idea who I was, and by the time she realized the truth, it was too late.
A young woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
If you asked anyone to describe me, they’d probably say I’m the typical hardworking mom. My life revolves around my two boys, Ethan and Leo.
At 10 and 8 years old, they’re at that stage where they want to be independent but still need their mom for everything. And honestly, I love being there for them. The morning rush to get them ready for school, the endless soccer practices, and those quiet moments at bedtime when they tell me about their day motivates me to keep going.
A woman standing in her living room | Source: Midjourney
But my life isn’t all about the kids.
Five years ago, I opened my own massage studio, and it quickly became my second home. There’s something incredibly fulfilling about helping people relax.
It’s my passion, and I’ve poured my heart and soul into that place.
A masseuse massaging someone’s hand | Source: Pexels
Then there’s Henry, my husband of 12 years.
I met him when I was a young, vibrant woman, full of dreams and energy. Back then, I’d dress up for him, wear makeup, and make sure my hair was perfect. And he loved it.
We were inseparable. Henry always found a way to make me laugh and I continued believing we’d be happy forever. But life doesn’t stay the same.
A woman sitting near a window | Source: Midjourney
Over the years, I’ve become more practical.
I don’t spend hours on my hair or makeup anymore. I wear comfortable clothes and don’t spend money on fancy stuff because I believe I’d rather invest my time and money in my kids.
Henry never complained about it, but sometimes I wondered if he noticed.
It wasn’t that our marriage was bad. Henry still did his part. He was a present father, always at the boys’ games and school events. He fixed things around the house and never missed a birthday or anniversary.
I thought we were solid.
A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels
But over the past year, something felt… off. Henry started working late more often. At first, I didn’t question it. He’s a lawyer, and I assumed he was putting in extra hours to give us a comfortable life.
Still, there were moments that gnawed at me.
He’d get home late and head straight for the shower without saying much. Sometimes, he’d sit with us for dinner, but his mind seemed elsewhere.
I chalked it up to stress. After all, I was busy too. Running a business and raising kids wasn’t easy.
A woman looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
But deep down, a part of me knew something had changed. We weren’t the same couple we used to be.
I figured it was just part of being married for over a decade. You know, life gets busy, romance takes a backseat, and you fall into routines.
What I didn’t know was that my husband’s routine included someone else.
It was an ordinary Tuesday morning when Emily walked into my massage studio. She looked exactly like the kind of woman who turned heads without even trying.
A woman walking on a wooden floor | Source: Pexels
Everything about her screamed luxury. The way her sleek hair cascaded over her shoulders, the designer bag she casually set down on the chair, and her expensive perfume that filled the room.
“Hi, I’m Emily. I have a 10 a.m. appointment,” she said with a friendly smile.
I returned the smile, though something about her felt off. Maybe it was her confidence or the way she seemed so at ease as if she owned the place.
I couldn’t put my finger on it, so I brushed it off.
A woman standing in her massage studio | Source: Midjourney
“Welcome, Emily. Please, make yourself comfortable,” I said, gesturing toward the massage room. “You can hang your things there and lie down on the table. I’ll be right with you.”
Once she settled in, I started my usual routine. The room was calm and serene, with soft music playing in the background. As I massaged her back, she let out a deep sigh.
“Finally,” she said, her voice muffled by the table’s headrest. “I’m going to relax.”
I chuckled. “Much stress?”
“Too much,” she groaned. “I really needed this.”
A woman lying on a massage table | Source: Midjourney
I kept my tone light and conversational. “Work stress?”
“Relationship stress,” she corrected. “My boyfriend is… complicated.”
I stayed silent, letting her talk if she wanted to. Some clients like to open up during their sessions, and I’ve learned that listening can be just as therapeutic as the massage itself.
Emily sighed again. “He’s in the process of a divorce, and it’s been messy. I don’t know why he hasn’t just finalized it already. His wife is such a drag.”
A back-view shot of a man | Source: Midjourney
I felt a pang of sympathy. Divorce is never easy, especially when kids are involved. Still, something about the way she said “drag” didn’t sit right with me.
“I guess that’s always hard,” I said carefully. “Especially with kids in the picture.”
“Oh, they’re not my problem,” she said dismissively.
My hands froze for a split second before I forced myself to keep going. I was horrified. How could someone be so heartless?
But I reminded myself not to judge. I didn’t know the whole story.
A woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
“I don’t know how his wife does it,” Emily continued. “She just works, looks after the kids, cooks, cleans… No wonder he’s leaving her. She’s boring. No makeup, no effort. Just a mom. And of course, he’ll get the house. It’s his. The kids can stay with her. I don’t want to raise someone else’s brats.”
Her words stung, though I wasn’t sure why. It was like she was describing me. I shook the thought away.
Pure coincidence, I told myself.
Emily’s phone suddenly buzzed on the side table. I glanced at it, and my heart nearly stopped.
A phone on a table | Source: Pexels
The screen lit up with a picture of her and… Henry.
My husband. My Henry. Smiling with her. Holding her.
My heart pounded faster as I processed what I was seeing. My mind raced, replaying everything Emily had just said.
“Oh, I’ll answer later,” Emily said casually, reaching to silence the phone.
“No, dear,” I said, my voice unnervingly calm. “Please, answer it.”
A woman in her massage studio | Source: Midjourney
She blinked, surprised by my tone. “What?”
I stepped back and crossed my arms. “It’s my husband—your boyfriend dreaming of divorcing me—calling you. Go ahead.”
For a moment, there was dead silence. Then she screamed, “What the hell did you do?! I CAN’T MOVE!”
I watched as Emily struggled to lift her head, her arms trembling as she tried to push herself off the massage table. But her body refused to cooperate.
For a moment, I panicked. Did I seriously paralyze her? But then I realized what had happened.
A worried woman | Source: Midjourney
I must’ve pressed on a nerve in her neck. It was something I’d seen before in my practice. Temporary paralysis, usually gone in a few minutes.
Still, I wasn’t about to waste this opportunity.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” I said, keeping my voice steady. “It’ll pass in a bit. Meanwhile, let’s have a chat.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You did this on purpose!”
I shrugged. “Prove it.”
Emily tried to wiggle her fingers, but they barely twitched. She huffed in frustration, glaring at me like a trapped animal.
“You’re insane!” she hissed.
An angry woman lying on a massage table | Source: Midjourney
“Maybe. Or maybe I’m just a woman who’s tired of being lied to.” I pulled over a chair and sat down calmly. “Now, about that house… You think it’s Henry’s?”
Her lips pressed into a tight line.
“Yeah, it’s not,” I continued. “It’s in my name. The kids? They’re staying with me. And guess what? Courts tend to favor the spouse who wasn’t sneaking around.”
“You’re bluffing,” she spat. “Henry said—”
“Henry said a lot of things, didn’t he?” I leaned forward. “Did he mention that I’ve supported him through job changes, sleepless nights with our kids, and years of marriage? Or did he just paint me as some boring wife?”
An upset woman | Source: Midjourney
Emily’s nostrils flared. “He loves me.”
“Does he?” I laughed. “Or does he love the idea of you? The fun, carefree fling who doesn’t remind him of his responsibilities?”
Her phone buzzed again. This time, I picked it up and held it out for her to see.
“Would you like me to answer? Should I tell him you’re… indisposed?”
Emily’s expression shifted from anger to fear. “Don’t you dare.”
“Oh, I dare.” I smirked. “But first, let me take a little souvenir.”
An upset woman | Source: Midjourney
I opened her phone and found a string of messages between her and Henry.
Sweet nothings. Promises of a future together. And a few photos that made my stomach turn.
I snapped pictures with my phone, making sure I had enough evidence to make my point clear. Then I locked her phone and set it back down.
“Why are you doing this?” she whispered, her voice trembling.
“Because you need to know what’s coming.” I stood up and leaned over her. “When you can move again, feel free to let Henry know I’ll be calling my lawyer today.”
A woman holding a phone | Source: Pexels
“You won’t win,” she muttered. “Henry won’t let you take everything.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, he’ll have no choice. I’ve got proof now. And when the courts see what he’s been up to, he’ll be lucky if he walks away with his clothes.”
Emily finally managed to lift her head. Her arms were still weak, but she was starting to regain movement.
“Don’t worry,” I said with a smile. “You’ll be fine in a few minutes. But your relationship with Henry? That’s done.”
A worried woman | Source: Midjourney
She glared at me as she swung her legs off the table, struggling to stand.
“You think you’ve won?” she raised an eyebrow. “He’ll come crawling back to me.”
“If you say so,” I laughed.
She grabbed her bag and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. I took a deep breath, letting the tension leave my body.
But I wasn’t done yet.
That evening, I waited for Henry to come home. He walked through the door like nothing had happened, kissed me on the cheek, and sat down at the dinner table.
A man standing in his house | Source: Midjourney
“Henry,” I said, setting my phone on the table between us. “We need to talk.”
His eyes flickered to the phone, and I could see the color drain from his face.
“I know everything,” I said quietly. “The texts. The calls. Your little plan to divorce me.”
He opened his mouth, but I held up a hand to stop him.
“No excuses, Henry,” I said. “You want a divorce? You’ll get one. But you’re leaving with nothing. The house is mine. The kids stay with me. And if you try to fight me, I’ve got plenty of evidence to bury you in court.”
A man talking to his wife | Source: Midjourney
His face paled, and he slumped in his chair. “Sophia…”
I leaned in, my voice steady. “You should’ve thought about this before you lied to me. Now? You’re on your own.”
The next day, I filed for divorce.
Soon, Henry moved out, and Emily realized he couldn’t give her the life she wanted.
To be honest, leaving my husband wasn’t easy. But after thinking about what he’d been doing behind my back, I knew I had no other option.
I left Henry and promised to never look back again. Not even on days when I felt lonely.
A woman standing in her house | Source: Midjourney
If you enjoyed reading this story, here’s another one you might like: When Brooke returns home from a weeklong work trip, she’s eager to unwind with her favorite snack. But her peanut butter jar is mysteriously half-empty. Her husband, Aaron, is allergic, so who ate it? Determined to uncover the truth, Brooke turns to their security cameras and discovers a shocking secret: Aaron had been hiding a guest. What starts as suspicion unravels into an emotional journey neither of them expected.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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