Only weeks after Millie Smith and Lewis Cann learned they were having twin baby girls, they learned that only one would survive.
On April 30, after 30 weeks of a high-risk pregnancy, Smith delivered identical twins, Callie and Skye, the latter who lived only three hours.
Later in neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), Callie slept without her sister in the incubator, with her loving and grieving parents watching over her. In the unit with other babies, an overwhelmed mom of healthy newborn twins innocently told Smith that she was “so lucky” to not have two babies.
Crushed by the words, the new mom couldn’t find the words to explain her loss. Then, she realized that Skye’s legacy was to help other families who lose a child, and it came in the form of a purple butterfly.
In November 2015 Millie Smith and partner Lewis Cann found out they were having their first Child. Smith, who has twins in the family, said she had a “gut feeling” about having a duo and 10 weeks later, doctors confirmed she was expecting identical twin girls.
Less than two weeks after the excitement of knowing they would double the children in their home, the British couple were devastated to learn that one of their babies had a fatal condition and wouldn’t survive after birth.
“During the scan, the doctor didn’t say anything. I was very excited and loved seeing the little babies, but she was silent. Both Lewis and I immediately knew there must be a problem,” Smith said.
Doctors shared the news that one of the babies had anencephaly, which according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) affects about one in 4,600 babies across the U.S. It’s a serious birth defect where a baby is born without parts of the brain and skull, and “almost all babies born with anencephaly will die shortly after birth.”
Knowing that one baby would die soon after birth, and that there were risks involved for their other baby, the couple decided to move forward with the extremely high-risk pregnancy.
Over the next several months, Smith and Cann named their twins Skye and Callie. “We knew that Skye needed to have a name before she was born,” Smith said. “Knowing she would only survive for seconds or minutes, I wanted her to be named during that time.”
The meaning behind “Skye,” she explained “was somewhere we knew she would always be, that we could look up at the sky and remember our baby.”
When Smith went into labor after only 30 weeks on April 30, she needed an emergency C-section. To help navigate the loss, the couple had a “bereavement midwife” during the birth, and they were put I a special room the called the “Daisy Room,” where families can spend time with a baby before and after she/he passes.
“When the girls were born, they both cried. This was a huge moment, as we were told that Skye would not make a noise or move,” said Smith, who was thankful to have three hours with Skye before she died. “We were cuddling Skye when she passed away. This was the worst moment in our lives. I have never ever felt heartbreak like that before. But I am proud that she fought for so long to spend time with us.”
Born premature, Callie had to stay in NICU while she gained some strength and also in the unit were three other sets of twin.
“Most of the nurses were aware of what had happened, but as time passed, people stopped talking about Skye. After about four weeks, everyone acted as though nothing had happened, meaning the families around me had no idea about our situation,” Smith recalled.
One morning, a stressed mother whose twins were also in NICU, harmlessly said to Smith that she was “so lucky” to not have twins.
“None of the other parents knew what had happened or anything about Skye. The comment was completely innocent and more out of humor…They weren’t to know that I did at one point have two.” Smith continued, “But the comment nearly broke me. I ran out [of] the room in tears and they had no idea why. I didn’t have the heart to tell them what had happened. A simple sticker would have avoided that entire situation.”
It was in that moment Smith realized she had to create something that would speak for parents who had just lost a baby, ensuring the misunderstanding never happens again.
She designed a poster for the NICU explaining both hospital personnel and visitors that any incubator with a purple butterfly on it means that one or more babies, in a set of multiples were lost.
“I chose butterflies, as I felt it was fitting to remember the babies that flew away, the color purple because it is suitable for both boys or girls,” said Smith.
The purple butterfly concept–now under the Skye High Foundation–has spread to hospitals in several countries around the world.
Callie is now a lively, happy seven-year-old, and twin’s memory lives in purple butterfly cards along with other initiatives to help families with babies like Skye all over the world. The purple butterflies now come in numerous forms, like ornaments, cards, blankets, stuffed animals and more.
“Ultimately I will never be able to stop this from happening but the more support groups we can set up and put things in place like the stickers the better it will be. It’s the hardest thing anyone has to deal with,” Smith said.
А mоthеr gаins оnlinе аttеntiоn fоr thе shirt shе соmреllеd hеr sоn tо wеаr tо sсhооl.
A Texas mom decided to teach her son a lesson after she learned a valuable thing about his personaIity. The boy was causing trouble in school. Administrators at the school he attended came to his mom to explain that he was a bully toward other students at the educational institution.
The Texas mom claimed that her son went down the wrong path and was calling other students “idiots” and “stupid,” which is why the mom decided to make her bully son wear a T-shirt that proclaimed, “I am a BULLY.” Mom wanted her son to be recognized as a bully at Greenleaf EIementary School in his community.
She knew that other students at the school had heard that her son was a horrible person to other students. However, she wanted everyone to know that she believed them, and that’s why she forced her son to wear a T-shirt that humiliated him in front of hundreds of people at the school – not to mention thousands of people onIine who saw his mom’s social media post on Facebook. See the image of the shirt down below:
“He was calling other boys stupid (and) calling them idiots,” the Texas mom, Star, who asked that she be identified by her first name only, told KTRK-TV. “I’m a very old-school parent. I don’t coddle my children. I don’t sugarcoat the world to them.”
Star wanted as many people as possible to know that her son was a bully, so she posted a picture of the boy wearing the T-shirt to her Facebook account. Star wrote, “I posted it to reach out to the parents of any of the kids my son may have bullied so that each one of them couId get a personal apology.”
Although some people felt that Star went too far when it came to punishing her bully son, Star stood behind her actions and defended herself against critics in the online community. “I wanted to know what he learned from it, and he said, ‘I learned that I didn’t likе the way that that felt, and I don’t want anybody else to feel that way because of me,’” Star said. “That’s exactIy what I wanted him to take from it.” Professionals in the child development world do not support Star’s punishment.
Although her son was a bully who was hurting other children, a child psychiatrist at Baylor College of Medicine denounced Star’s treatment of her son. “Not a good idea to embarrass your child and solidify a negative identity in an elementary school child,” the child psychiatrist said. “She needs to find somebody to help her, and I think the school is one resource.” AIthough Star had critics on social media and across the internet, she claimed that her son’s school district approved of her decision. Splendora ISD said, “parents have the right to make important decisions and take certain actions on behalf of their child.” What do you think about this mom’s punishment of her bully son?
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