Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
I Left My Newborn with My Husband for a Work Trip, He Began Acting Weird When I Returned – His Reason Shocked Me
I left my newborn with my husband during a medical conference, but when I returned, his behavior was off — withdrawn, and overwhelmed. As the tension between us escalated, I feared our marriage might collapse under the weight of unfulfilled promises and the strain of new parenthood.
I became a neurologist because my work gave me purpose. I’d been a troubled teen, so dedicating my life to something greater than myself seemed like a redemption arc.
Rachel and James on their wedding day, full of hopes and dreams | Source: Pexels
And I found fulfillment in helping patients. But it wasn’t just about the work; it was about the life I built around it — a life with James. We’ve been married for four years. He worked in marketing and made significantly less money than me, but it never mattered.
James and I had always agreed on one thing — children were not a priority. I preferred adoption if we were going down that road. Biological children? I was ambivalent at best.
James and his best friend’s baby boy, sparking a change in heart | Source: Pexels
But then, his best friend had a baby boy, and everything changed. James started talking about having a kid of our own. I wasn’t convinced, but then, life decided for us when, soon after, I found out I was pregnant.
“So, what do we do?” I had asked, looking at James.
“Let’s keep it. We’ll make it work,” he said, squeezing my hand.
We agreed he would quit his job to stay home with our daughter, Lily, until she was old enough for preschool. My work was my life, and I had no desire to become a housewife.
Rachel and James holding baby Lily | Source: Pexels
Lily was born, and soon, my maternity leave was up. I had a medical conference out of state and left James alone with Lily for the weekend. He assured me he’d handle it.
“Call me if you need anything,” I told him before leaving.
“Don’t worry, Rachel. We’ll be fine,” he smiled, holding Lily.
***
When I returned, something was off. James was withdrawn, not his usual upbeat self.
“Hey, how was the conference?” he asked, but his eyes didn’t meet mine.
James looking weary while holding Lily | Source: Midjourney
“Good. What’s going on here? You seem… different.”
He shrugged, focusing on Lily in his arms. “Nothing. Just tired, I guess.”
“Tired?” I probed. “James, what’s wrong?”
He looked at me then, eyes filled with something I couldn’t place. “I… I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Do what?” I asked, though I already feared the answer.
“This. Stay home with Lily. I feel trapped, Rachel. Overwhelmed.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “You said you could handle it. You agreed to this!”
Rachel and James having a heated discussion in the living room | Source: Pexels
“I know, but it’s harder than I thought. I’m not cut out for this.”
“So, what are you suggesting? That I give up my career? Extend my maternity leave?”
“Maybe we could consider daycare,” he said softly.
“Daycare? We agreed!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I made sacrifices, James. My career —”
“And what about my sacrifices? I quit my job for this. I’m asking for help, Rachel.”
“Help? This isn’t what we planned. We had an agreement!” My voice rose, frustration boiling over. At that moment, Lily started crying, and James looked like he might break.
Baby Lily crying in the background | Source: Pexels
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, tears welling up. “I just need help.”
I stared at him, feeling betrayed. The man I relied on was crumbling, and our agreement seemed to be falling apart. I needed time to think, to process.
But Lily’s cries demanded attention, and for now, all I could do was hold her close, feeling the weight of the sacrifices we both had made.
Rachel cuddling Lily | Source: Pexels
The next few days were tense. James avoided talking about it, burying himself in household chores and baby duties. I buried myself in work, leaving early and coming home late. We were living in the same house but miles apart.
One evening, after putting Lily to bed, I sat down next to James on the couch. “We need to talk.”
He sighed, not looking away from the TV. “Yeah, I know.”
“This isn’t working, James. We’re both miserable.”
James and Rachel sitting at a distance on the sofa | Source: Midjourney
“I’m doing my best, Rachel,” he snapped. “I never said this would be easy.”
“But you promised. You said you’d stay home with Lily. Now you’re backing out?”
“I’m not backing out! I just —” He ran a hand through his hair, exasperated. “I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I feel trapped.”
I felt a surge of anger. “So what? You think I don’t feel trapped sometimes? You think I wanted to go back to work so soon?”
James pacing the living room in frustration | Source: Midjourney
“You have a choice, Rachel. You could stay home.”
“And throw away everything I’ve worked for? No. We made a plan.”
He stood up, pacing the room. “Maybe the plan was wrong. Maybe we rushed into this.”
“Rushed into this?” I echoed, incredulous. “You were the one who wanted a baby, remember? I never would have agreed to have Lily if I knew you’d change your mind.”
His face fell, and he looked genuinely hurt. “Do you regret having her?”
Rachel and James face to face, emotions running high | Source: Midjourney
I paused, taken aback. “No, I don’t. But I regret that we’re failing her because we can’t get our act together.”
“So, what are you saying? Divorce?” His voice was barely a whisper.
“I don’t know, James. But something has to change.”
***
The next day, I took matters into my own hands. Before he could say anything, I emerged from the kitchen, holding a glass of water. “Meet Claire,” I said calmly. “She’s our new nanny.”
His face twisted in confusion and anger. “What? A nanny? We can’t afford that!”
Claire, the new nanny, sitting down with James and Rachel | Source: Midjourney
I handed the glass of water to Claire and gestured for her to sit down. “Actually, we can. You’ll be going back to work, and working from home from now on. All your earnings will go towards paying Claire. She’ll help during the day so you can focus on your work.”
His face turned red with anger. “This is insane! You can’t just decide this without talking to me!”
I stepped closer, my voice firm but controlled. “We talked about this at the very beginning. You made a promise. You agreed to stay home and take care of our daughter. If you can’t do that, then we need to discuss other options.”
Rachel standing firm, explaining the need for a nanny | Source: Midjourney
He looked at me, bewildered. “Other options? What do you mean?”
“I mean, we can get a divorce,” I said plainly. “You’ll be a single dad, and I’ll pay child support. But you can’t make me take on the responsibility that you agreed to handle. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am, and I won’t let you derail my career.”
He sank onto the couch, his head in his hands. “I don’t want a divorce. I just… I didn’t realize how hard it would be.”
James collapsing on the couch, exhausted | Source: Pexels
I softened my tone slightly. “I understand it’s hard. That’s why Claire is here to help. But you need to step up. Our daughter needs both of us to be strong for her.”
Claire started the following Monday. She was a godsend. James was initially resistant, but as days went by, he began to appreciate her help. The house was calmer, and for the first time in weeks, James seemed more at ease.
One evening, as I watched James feeding Lily with a smile, I felt a flicker of hope. Maybe we could make this work after all.
James holding Lily with a newfound sense of ease and a smile | Source: Midjourney
“I’m sorry,” he said one night, as we lay in bed. “I should’ve been more supportive.”
“I’m sorry too,” I replied. “I should’ve listened to you more.”
“Claire’s great with Lily,” he admitted. “It’s making a difference.”
“I’m glad,” I said, squeezing his hand. “We’ll get through this, babe. We have to.”
Rachel and James having a heart-to-heart in the bedroom | Source: Pexels
Slowly, things began to improve. With Claire’s assistance, James adjusted to his new role. He started to bond with Lily, gaining confidence as he navigated the challenges of childcare. He picked up some freelance marketing work from home, which eased the financial strain.
As for me, I threw myself back into my practice, balancing my demanding career with my family responsibilities. It wasn’t easy, but knowing that James had the support he needed made it bearable.
One night, after Lily was asleep, James and I sat on the porch, enjoying a rare moment of peace. “We’re getting there,” he said, wrapping an arm around me.
Rachel and James sitting together on the porch | Source: Midjourney
“Yeah, we are,” I agreed, leaning into him.
“I never realized how hard this would be,” he admitted. “But I’m glad we’re doing it together.”
“Me too,” I said. “I love you, James.”
“I love you too. And I love Lily. We’ll make this work.”
We sat in silence, watching the stars, feeling a sense of renewed commitment. We had a long road ahead, but we were stronger together. And for the first time in a long while, I believed we could face anything as long as we had each other.
Rachel and James watching the stars, feeling a renewed sense of hope and commitment | Source: Midjourney
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