I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
You Won’t Believe What Iconic Model Twiggy Looks Like at 73!
Twiggy, known for her elfin face and big blue eyes, made a bold move when she chose a pixie hairstyle, creating a unique look that has been copied for decades.
Although Twiggy changed the fashion industry with her youthful style, she recently shared that she never actually wanted the androgynous buzzcut that became her signature look in the Swinging Sixties. She was just too shy to say no to a famous hairstylist at a fancy salon.
As she celebrates her 74th birthday on September 19, let’s take a trip back to the 1960s when Twiggy first introduced the baby doll styles we still love today!
In 1966, Twiggy, born Lesley Hornby in Britain, was seeking a trendy new look to kickstart her modeling career. At only 5-foot-6, she was considered too short to make it in the competitive fashion world.
Reflecting on her upcoming 74th birthday, the former supermodel recalled getting her shoulder-length hair styled for test photos at London’s House of Leonard. There, she met the famous British stylist Leonard Lewis, known professionally as Leonard of Mayfair.
Lewis was searching for models to try his new crop haircut, and Twiggy was the perfect fit.
In a recent guest appearance on Jessie Ware’s podcast, “Table Manners,” Twiggy, the former style icon, revealed that she never wanted to have her hair cut short.
“I went in to have it shampooed and set, and Leonard saw me. He said, ‘Let me try my new haircut on you,’” Twiggy told Ware during the podcast. “I’d been growing my hair, and for a moment, I wasn’t sure if I wanted it cut. But I was in this very fancy salon in Mayfair and felt too shy to say no, so I just nodded.”
The next day, Twiggy went back to the salon and sat in Leonard’s chair, preparing herself for the change.
“I was there for seven hours. He cut it, then I went out, had it colored, and came back for more cutting. It was crazy,” she said with a laugh.
Although the androgynous look wasn’t what Twiggy was aiming for, she quickly understood why Leonard was a famous stylist.
After Leonard perfected Twiggy’s short blonde haircut, British photographer Barry Lategan took her pictures.
“Leonard put one of the photos up in the salon, and a journalist from the Daily Express named Deirdre McSharry saw it while getting her hair done,” Twiggy explained. “That’s how it all started. When that haircut and photo happened, it was a pivotal moment for me.”
The pixie cut made her large blue eyes stand out, and she emphasized them with mascara on her lower eyelashes.
In a chat with Vogue, Twiggy shared the inspiration behind her famous eye makeup: “I was always experimenting with makeup at home. I had a rag doll with spiky eyelashes, so I bought false eyelashes and created my own unique look.”
Twiggy, the former supermodel, shared that when she was young, she liked to rebel a bit. On weekends, she would wear makeup and miniskirts to Saturday night mod clubs with her friends, even though her school was very strict.
“I went to a grammar school where we wore uniforms, and makeup wasn’t allowed,” Twiggy said. “So on weekends, my friends and I would play with makeup like most teenage girls.” This is how her unique makeup style developed, especially her iconic eye look.
A few weeks after the photoshoot for the Daily Express, some now-famous black-and-white pictures of Twiggy appeared in the paper with the headline “Twiggy—The Face of ’66.” This launched her modeling career.
The next month, Twiggy did her first shoot for Vogue, and her life quickly became very busy. She became a major figure in mod fashion and inspired many women. While still a teenager, she even became the first celebrity to have a Mattel Barbie doll modeled after her.
Over the next few years, Twiggy became closely associated with the famous British designer Mary Quant. Mary Quant changed fashion with short skirts, giving women the freedom to show their legs.
After a few years of modeling, Twiggy retired in 1970 and started acting in movies and on stage, as well as singing.
Twiggy starred in several movies, including “The Boy Friend” in 1971, a role that won her two Golden Globes, and “Club Paradise” in 1986, where she acted alongside Robin Williams.
She also judged on “America’s Next Top Model” and created a fashion line for Marks & Spencer. She appeared in many of the brand’s billboard ads.
In 2011, Twiggy released an album called “Romantically Yours,” which features cover songs like “Blue Moon,” “They Can’t Take That Away from Me,” and “Right Here Waiting.” Her daughter, Carly Lawson, born in 1978, sang on some of the tracks.
Still active in the fashion world, the beautiful Twiggy was an ambassador for L’Oreal and works with other brands as a designer.
These days, the famous Twiggy is busy with her own podcast called “Tea with Twiggy.” Each week, she talks with her famous friends in a relaxed and personal way.
Despite all her success, Twiggy, one of the most well-known faces of her time, says her greatest achievement is her relationship with her amazing daughter.
Twiggy’s daughter, Carly, lost her father, actor Michael Witney, when she was just five years old. He passed away during Carly’s fifth birthday celebration. After that, Carly was raised by her mom, Twiggy, and Twiggy’s second husband, Leigh Lawson, whom she married in 1988.
“Family is my number one priority,” said Twiggy, who is also a grandmother. “It always has been, even when Carly was little. If something didn’t work for Carly, I didn’t do it. We went everywhere together, and that’s why we’re so close now. The other day, Carly said, ‘I can’t remember a time when you weren’t there, Mum,’ and that’s because I was always there. Even when I traveled, she came with me.”
Many women envy Twiggy for how well she pulled off that pixie cut in the 1960s! She looked gorgeous then and still looks amazing now.
What do you remember about the Swinging Sixties? What’s the most daring hairstyle you’ve ever tried?
Share your stories and let’s show Twiggy some love on her birthday!
If you enjoyed reading about how Twiggy’s style has evolved, check out how Catherine Deneuve looks today. She also had her big break in the 1960s.
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