My Hypocrite Sister Demanded I Let Our Mom Live in My Home but I Made Another Plan
When my sister demanded I take our neglectful mother into my home, I decided to stand up for myself. What happened next tested family bonds, revealed painful truths, and forced us to confront years of unresolved hurt.
When we were kids, my dad worked hard to support us. My mom, though, stayed at home. You’d think she was taking care of us, but she wasn’t. She spent her days on the sofa, glued to the TV. She barely cooked or cleaned. It was like she wasn’t a mom to us at all.
Lazy woman on the sofa | Source: Pexels
My sister Amy and I grew up in the same house, but we had very different experiences. I was always the one picking up the slack. By the time I was 10, I was making meals and cleaning. Amy, on the other hand, didn’t lift a finger. She was Mom’s favorite, and it showed.
When I turned 18, my mom kicked me out. She said it was time for me to be independent. Amy, though, got to stay. She was 16 then. I remember Dad argued with Mom about it.
Young woman out on the streets | Source: Pexels
They fought a lot, and soon after, they got divorced. Mom moved on quickly. She remarried almost instantly, but then her new husband died. After her husband’s death, Mom had nowhere to go. She asked to move in with my family. Reluctantly, I said yes. It was a mistake. She acted like she owned the place.
She offered to babysit the kids but only watched them twice a week for half a day. And even then, she neglected them. One time, she didn’t change my baby’s diaper for hours. It was the last straw. I asked her to leave.
Angry woman with a phone | Source: Pexels
That’s when Amy got involved. She started calling me, shaming me for kicking Mom out.
“How could you do that to Mom?” Amy yelled over the phone. “You’re a terrible daughter!”
“Me? What about you, Amy? You said you had no space for her, remember?” I shot back.
Amy’s voice was sharp. “That’s different! I don’t have room. You do!”
Angry woman | Source: Pexels
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “So, it’s okay for me to take her in, but not you? That’s hypocritical, Amy.”
“You’re being selfish!” she cried. “She’s our mother! We owe her.”
“Owe her? For what? Neglecting us? Kicking me out? Ruining Dad’s life? She had her chance to be a good mom, and she blew it.”
“You can’t just abandon her! This is cruel!”
Furious woman yells into her phone | Source: Pexels
I took a deep breath. “She made her bed, Amy. Now she has to lie in it. If you’re so worried, you take her.”
Amy was silent for a moment. “You can’t do this. I don’t have space.”
“Figure it out, Amy. Just like I had to.”
Two days later, I called Amy again. “Mom’s moving in with you.”
Irritated woman talks on the phone | Source: Pexels
“Are you out of your mind?” Amy shouted. “You can’t just dump her on me!”
“Oh, so now space is an issue?” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “When it’s me, I’m supposed to accommodate her, but you can’t?”
Amy was furious. “You’re ruining everything!”
“No, I’m setting boundaries. If you can’t understand that, it’s your problem.”
Woman drives a car | Source: Pexels
The next day, I packed Mom’s bags and drove her to Amy’s house. Amy was waiting at the door, looking like she’d seen a ghost.
“She’s all yours,” I said, handing over the bags.
“This isn’t fair,” Amy said, her voice shaking.
“Welcome to my world,” I replied. “Maybe now you’ll see why I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Woman drives a car | Source: Pexels
As I drove away, I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew Amy was in for a tough time, but it was about time she faced reality. For the first time in years, I felt a sense of peace. I hoped it would last.
Two days after Mom moved in with Amy, my phone rang. I could tell from the caller ID it was Amy, and I knew she wasn’t calling to chat. I picked up, bracing myself for the onslaught.
“She’s driving me crazy!” Amy shouted before I could even say hello. “Mom’s been here two days, and it’s a nightmare.”
Worried woman | Source: Pexels
“Well, that’s how I’ve been living,” I replied calmly.
“You don’t understand,” Amy continued, her voice shaking. “She refuses to do anything. She sits on the couch all day, watching TV. She won’t even make herself a sandwich.”
“I understand perfectly,” I said. “I lived it, remember?”
Amy sighed, frustration clear in her voice. “I can’t take it. She’s so demanding. She acts like I owe her everything.”
Woman with a headache | Source: Pexels
“That’s what I’ve been dealing with for years,” I replied. “Now you see why I asked her to leave.”
Amy was silent for a moment. “I thought you were exaggerating,” she admitted. “But it’s worse than I imagined.”
“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” I said. “But I had to set boundaries for my family’s sake.”
Content woman | Source: Pexels
After hanging up, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. The house was quieter, more peaceful. My kids seemed happier, too. They weren’t on edge, waiting for the next outburst from their grandmother.
“Mama, can we play a game?” my youngest asked, smiling up at me.
“Of course, sweetie,” I replied, feeling lighter than I had in years.
Woman plays with her daughter | Source: Pexels
The days passed, and the peace in my home grew. Without Mom’s negative energy, our household felt warmer and more connected. My husband and I had more time for each other, and the kids were thriving.
One evening, as I was preparing dinner, my phone rang again. It was Amy.
“We need to talk,” she said, her voice calmer but still strained.
“Okay, what’s on your mind?” I asked.
Serious woman on her phone | Source: Pexels
“Mom is making my life hell,” she said bluntly. “But I think I understand why you did what you did.”
I paused, letting her words sink in. “Go on.”
“I thought you were being cruel, but now I see you were trying to protect your family,” she admitted. “I just… I don’t know what to do.”
“It’s about setting boundaries,” I said gently. “Mom never learned how to be a proper parent. She expects us to cater to her because that’s all she knows.”
Woman explains something over phone | Source: Pexels
“But how do I deal with her?” Amy asked, desperation creeping back into her voice.
“You have to be firm,” I advised. “Explain what you can and can’t do for her. It won’t be easy, but it’s necessary.”
Amy sighed. “I guess I never realized how much you were dealing with.”
“It was a lot,” I agreed. “But it taught me the importance of putting my immediate family first.”
Woman on her phone on the street | Source: Pexels
There was a long pause on the line. “I’m sorry I judged you,” Amy finally said. “I was wrong.”
“Thank you,” I said, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. “I’m glad you understand now.”
As I hung up, I reflected on how much things had changed. Growing up, I felt neglected and alone, bearing the brunt of Mom’s indifference. But now, I had a chance to create a different environment for my own kids. Setting boundaries with Mom was hard, but it was the right decision.
Hopeful woman | Source: Pexels
Amy and I had a lot to work through, but I hoped this experience would bring us closer. She finally saw things from my perspective, and that was a start.
‘Families don’t have to look the same’ – Black couple talks about their experience adopting three white children
Sadie and Jarvis Sampson tried for years to have a baby, using every method they could think of. They eventually accepted that they might only ever be an aunt and uncle. Then, one day, they got a text that changed their lives completely.
The couple had been trying to get pregnant since they got married in January 2018, but when it didn’t happen on its own, they tried everything else.
“We used ovulation tests, took prenatal vitamins, tracked cycles with apps, and used fertility monitors,” the Houston mom told Love What Matters.
“We even tried advice from friends, family, and strangers. For 14 months, we tried, prayed, and waited. Month after month, it was always a negative pregnancy test. It seemed like we might need help to conceive, so we even talked to doctors about it.”
Doctors didn’t offer much help to the couple. They mostly told Sadie to lose weight to improve her chances of getting pregnant. With no other advice, she had gastric surgery and lost 28 pounds.
Sadie’s OBGYN was excited about the weight loss and praised her for it.
“She told me that if I wasn’t pregnant within six months, she would refer me to a fertility specialist because she couldn’t prescribe fertility medication herself,” Sadie said. “I was thrilled! We finally got a positive step forward, even if it wasn’t immediate. We were excited about the progress.”
Unfortunately, the couple didn’t get pregnant after Sadie lost the weight, and they felt like they were back where they started.
“I always felt like I was meant to be a mother,” Sadie said. “Even though my surgeon warned me that I’d be very fertile after the surgery, I still wasn’t getting pregnant. So, we gave up and accepted that we might just be aunt and uncle to our nieces and godparents to our goddaughters.”
Just when the couple had decided to stop trying to have a baby, Sadie got a text from a friend asking if they would think about fostering a baby from a couple she knew.
At first, the couple was hesitant because they were told by a caseworker to take care of the baby while the birth mom was getting treatment. They worried they might get too attached. But then, the situation changed.
“The birth mom has decided she wants you to adopt the baby instead,” the caseworker said.
Sadie remembered saying, “‘Holy crap!!’ out loud when she found out she was going to be a mom.
“We went from having no kids to possibly fostering one, to suddenly being told, ‘You’re going to be parents!’ I was still in shock as I listened to the caseworker. I hung up and called my husband, shouting, ‘Babe!! They want us to adopt the baby! We’re going to be parents!’ He said, ‘Wait! REALLY?! I thought they just wanted us to foster him!’ I told him, ‘Nope! They want us to be his mom and dad.’”
The couple spent the weekend trying to take in the shocking news and getting ready, just in case the birth mom changed her mind.
By Monday, they were not only told that the birth mom still wanted them to adopt the baby, but she also wanted to do an independent adoption and was ready to sign the papers that day.
Their baby boy was born at just 33 weeks, which is seven weeks early. He weighed 4 lbs. 5 oz. “He was so tiny, he literally fit in one of my husband’s hands,” Sadie wrote.
“He was wrapped in a white blanket with pink and blue stripes,” Sadie said. “He had a small tube coming out of his nose because he couldn’t eat on his own since he was born early. But he was so cute!!!”
The couple shared their news on social media and were encouraged to create a registry. They listed 72 items, and within just three days, 55 of them were already bought for them.
Ezra Lee’s adoption was finalized in October 2020, and the couple had adorable family photos taken, all wearing t-shirts that said, “Families don’t have to match.”
In 2021, Sadie and Jarvis became parents to twin girls, Journee and Destinee, through embryo donation. True to their family motto, “Families don’t have to match,” the Black couple now has three white children – a boy and two girls.
For anyone who might judge their beautiful family, they have just one response: their family is built on the strongest foundation ever – love.
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