Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
This Star Is Now Living Privately with Famous Spouse – He Proposed on 2nd Date & Still Loves Her at Any Weight
Delta Burke had once been in the center of the spotlight with project after project lining up for her, but after leaving “Designing Women,” her fame and work also started to fizzle out.
After having almost not-so-successful projects, the actress decided to stay out of the spotlight and live life like a regular citizen.
Despite her many changes, her husband of more than three decades declared he would still love her no matter what. Here’s a look into Delta Burke’s life.
Delta Burke came into the limelight when she won the Miss Florida title in 1974. She went on to the Miss America Pageant, won a talent scholarship, and studied at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts.
Burke got into film in 1979 when she starred in “The Seekers” and “The Chisholms.” However, she is best known as Suzanne Sugarbaker in the 1986 series “Designing Women.”
She started a production company that produced “Delta” and “Women of the House,” and Burke starred in both projects. Later, she started her clothing design company called Delta Burke Design.
Burke took the role of Suzanne Sugarbaker in “Designing Women” for five out of the seven seasons the show ran for because the show’s producers fired her.
After firing her, she said the executive producers, Linda Bloodworth-Thomason and Harry Thomason, psychologically abused her.
However, the executive producers and the show’s stars said Burke made things difficult for everybody, so they fired her. Burke said,
“Basically, it became unbearable into the second season for me. By the end of the fourth season, I just couldn’t live like that anymore.”
Burke described the work environment as bizarre, and people didn’t believe her. She then went to ask for help from people who had power, and they didn’t help her.
Even though she missed her character after a few months, she said she had no regrets about being off the show. After over a year, she said she had gotten used to her weight but wanted to lose some pounds.
But after leaving “Designing Women,” she changed her looks and was reportedly looking heavier than before in the next series she starred in titled “Dayo.”
In 2012, while shooting her show “Counter Culture,” Burke fell. The fall led to the cancellation of the show. After that, Burke stayed out of the spotlight for some years.
Later, when she was spotted going out for lunch, she looked entirely different. In place of her signature bouffant hair was a brunette bob, and she ditched the vivid lipstick for a relatively makeup-free face.
The actress who suffered very public weight battles had also lost some weight. Besides weight problems, she had battled with depression, hoarding problems, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
In 2008, she sought treatment at a psychiatric hospital, and even though she wasn’t looking forward to any work, she felt more than happy with life.
Burke, who is healthier and happier, was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. However, she said her husband, Gerald McRaney, always reminds her what to eat and what not to eat.
Despite everything she and her husband have gone through, her husband will always love her no matter what. She said,
“Mac loves me no matter what. He loved me when I got as big as a house. He loved me when I was a blonde.”
She said her husband didn’t tell her he hated her blonde hair until she returned to brunette. He always loved her through any situation and still thinks her body looks great even though she feels it does not.
Burke and McRaney met in 1987 when she was a guest star on his detective show “Simon & Simon.” He knew he had competition, but McRaney was not ready to let her go.
McRaney asked her to marry him on their second date even though his friends were against it. They never wanted him to marry an actress, but McRaney knew only an actress would understand his work hours.
In 1989, they got married, and their marriage was McRaney’s third marriage but Burke’s first.
McRaney started acting in junior high school after injuring his knees during a football session. He was a guest star on “Gunsmoke: Hard Labor” before making his big break on “Simon & Simon” in 1981.
Burke and the “This Is Us” actor never had children together, but she became the proud stepmom to his kids from his previous marriages.
The couple worked together on different projects, and McRaney revealed that, unlike other couples, they do better when they are together 24/7.
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